I don't want to go to sleep yet.
I want to hold a match until it becomes impossible because of the heat.
Then I'll need to blow it out, or just drop it and wonder if I could have held it longer.
Could I?
Yes?
No?
Then I remember the look in the man's face today.
The look in the woman's face the day before that.
They were bored.
They were tired of our conversation.
Sometimes I want to grab people by the shoulder and shake them until I can get through to them that today could be their last.
To smile more, or to cry.
Shit, just do something.
And then, yes, after all this...I think, what does it matter?
If they don't care then why should I?
Should I?
Yes?
No?
It's funny how fast the years are going by.
My friend asked the other day if I ever battled with depression.
Don't we all?
Yes?
No?
I guess it's just more obvious with me because I leave it out here for everyone to read.
I work it, carve it down in words here...yet, I do that so that I can leave it behind.
Like the old Candlebox song, far behind.
I like to leave some emotions here, and leave them in my past so I don't have to carry them on this journey.
So to answer a question, yes...I am happy.
Yes, I am sad.
But isn't that life?
27 turns to 28.